Cathy Pyper has been married for five years to a man she has never seen.

"I don't have a clue what Peter looks like, but I know what's in his heart," she said.

They met and married in 1999 -- two years after she lost her vision. Her husband is also blind.

Her vision loss was due to diabetes. Despite 12 eye surgeries attempting to save her vision, Pyper said she went from "20-20 to zero" in 15 months.

But vision wasn't her only loss. Pyper also lost her job. She worked as a supervisor in a bank but "you can't run a bank if you can't see the money," she said.

And she lost her independence. She could no longer drive a car, write checks to pay bills, match the colors in the clothes she wears or do many of the other things she had done for more than 30 years.

"I was so lost when it happened to me and I know it is the same for others," Pyper said.

She discovered there are many steps a person can take to get ready for blindness when vision loss is inevitable and eventual. So Cathy and Peter Pyper decided to do what they could to help other people prepare. They have founded First Steps for the Blind, an organization to provide information, resources and support for those losing their vision and for their families, too.

"The adjustment can be a little bit easier if you have an idea of what lies ahead," she said.

The Pypers are running the organization from their home in Kansas City, North. Cathy Pyper fields questions and connects individuals needing assistance with government agencies and organizations, volunteers, mentors and other resources that can provide financial help, adaptive equipment, transportation, training, information and other services for the visually impaired.

On the third Wednesday evening of each month, the Pypers have a meeting in their dining room for people from all over the metropolitan area.

Individuals with macular degeneration, glaucoma and other visual impairments as well as those who are blind find support, encouragement and compassion. What they don't find are pessimism and self-pity.

"Cathy has turned a millstone into a stepping stone," said Loretta O'Connor of Kansas City, a member of the group.

O'Connor packs a lightweight, portable keyboard when she comes to the meetings. Propped on her lap, the keyboard acts as a tablet and pen for her. She types in notes and they are turned into documents that she can listen to later.

The device is just one of many products designed for individuals who can't see. At the February meeting, Pyper discussed some of the other aids available including a label reader that scans bar codes and says what's inside the can, a talking thermometer and a holder for baking several potatoes at the same time. Sticking the potatoes on the prongs of the holder keeps them in one place for easy removal from a hot oven.

"There's very little that a blind person can't do," Pyper told the group at the March meeting. "We just have to work at it harder, do it in a different way and it takes longer."

Between monthly meetings, for example, members of the First Steps group keep in touch through e-mail. Those who are blind have e-mail programs that read messages aloud. Those with vision impairments have magnification programs on their computers so they can read their mail.

"Two years ago I was terrified of computers," said Mary Rohrer of Kansas City. "Now these programs are like a door to the outside world."

Rohrer has macular degeneration and uses both a magnification program that enables her to read the screen by enlarging the text and a talking e-mail program.

Unfortunately, "everything you need to make life simple is expensive," Pyper said.

Such software programs cost almost $1,000. The good news is in Missouri the software is provided free of charge to individuals who qualify, said Katherine Leu, a consumer support provider for the state Telecommunication Access Program for the Internet.

Leu attends the First Steps meetings and teaches individuals how to use the different programs. Qualifying for the software is based on income, residency and basic keyboard skills, she said.

But there's more to preparing for vision loss than learning to use adaptive equipment. Families need help, too.

"I was only 18 when my mother lost her vision," recalled Amy Hochstedler, Pyper's daughter. "This was the person who had taken care of me and suddenly she couldn't tie her own shoes or brush her own teeth.

"One day I was a carefree teen-ager and the next I needed to help -- not only with the house but also with the bills."

Hochstedler often attends the First Steps meetings. In February, she distributed guidelines based on her own experience for living with someone who is visually impaired.

Hochstedler said it was hard watching her mother grieve. When you live with someone who is visually impaired, "sometimes they just need to cry. Let them," she said.

Pyper discovered that no matter how well she has adjusted to her vision loss, grieving is ongoing.

"Something comes along that you want to be able to see, such as a new baby in the family or a wedding," Pyper said. "There is a constant reminder of what you have lost."

Still, the First Steps meetings are filled with laughter. Participants joke, share frustrations and triumphs and learn from each other.

"Your life only has to be a dark and miserable place if you let it be," Pyper said.

The details

First Steps for the Blind is in the processing of obtaining nonprofit status. It does not charge for services or assistance. For more information, call (816) 455-5219 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. weekdays or visit the Web site at www.firststepsfortheblind.org.